Hey Achiever! 

Have You Been Chasing the Wrong Dreams?

You know that feeling when you're working hard towards something, but deep down, something feels... off? Maybe you've been crushing it at work, hitting the gym regularly, or pursuing that side hustle everyone says you should have. But despite checking all these boxes, you're still not feeling fulfilled. Here's why: you might be chasing wants instead of pursuing your true needs.

Today, I want to share my own experience with this and help you to examine the wants and needs in your life.  Separating them and prioritizing what you really need to feel fulfilled might feel daunting, but we’re going to break it down so that understanding the difference between YOUR wants and YOUR needs is easier than you might think!

The Want vs. Need Reality Check

Let me share a personal story. Years ago (before Covid), I was working out a couple hours a day or more doing CrossFit, dreaming of competing in Miami at Wodapalooza. From the outside, I was crushing it—dedicated to training, getting stronger, and living the "fit life." But when I really sat down to think about what I needed to feel fulfilled in the next three plus years, I realized something surprising.

I thought about: if I only had 3 years left, what would I want to pursue (a little dark, but necessary thought). Then I thought about being at that point, 3 years in the future and looking back over what I had done with my time and I realized that competing (on that level) would be a nice to do, not a need to do.  

My true needs were:

• Having a home that felt completely mine and that I could comfortably afford.

• Sharing my life with a furry companion (I was living alone after my divorce and hadn’t had a pet in over a year).

• Exploring the possibility of having a family (I had gone through a few health challenges over the last five years).

Being fit was still important—but competing was a want, not a need. This revelation changed everything about how I made decisions, set priorities, and thought about my meaningful achievements. Basically, I can do both wants and needs, but if the two were in conflict, I should put the need over the want.  Seems simple enough, right? It wasn't an immediate shift, there were still days I worked out more than I should have, but it helped to start focusing my priorities and with practice it became second nature.

Quinn’s Story: A Different Path to True Needs

Let me share a perspective from a friend, Quinn (name changed for privacy). Despite her successful corporate career— large salary, title, and a beautiful city apartment—Quinn felt an emptiness inside. Her parents were proud, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing.

When we explored her true needs using the same reflection process I did, she had some surprising realizations. Although she had achieved traditional success, her core needs were far from the corporate ladder’s expectations.

Quinn’s true needs emerged as:

• Freedom to travel and explore different cultures—she felt most alive when experiencing new places and new restaurants.

• Creative expression through art, a passion she had abandoned for her "practical" career.

• Building meaningful international connections—she lit up discussing friendships made during her travels and college years.

This moment was transformative for Quinn. She recognized that she had been chasing a corporate path that didn’t align with her true needs, treating her desires for travel and creativity as distant luxuries only afforded to her by paying her dues at work and waiting til the next trip.

Now, Quinn has restructured her life to prioritize these needs. She left her (overpriced) city apartment, transitioned to remote work, and embraced her artistic side. Most importantly, she stopped apologizing for wanting a life that deviated from others' expectations and started living a her most fulfilling life.

Different Needs, Different Paths
Your true needs might look completely different from mine or Quinn’s, and that's exactly how it should be! Here are some other core needs I've seen emerge when working with clients:

Connection & Relationship Needs

• Deep, meaningful friendships

• Teaching and mentoring others

• Community leadership and involvement

• Cultural preservation and connection to heritage

• Nurturing and supporting others' growth

Purpose & Impact Needs

• Making a lasting positive impact on society

• Contributing to scientific advancement

• Advocacy for social justice

• Building and leaving a legacy

• Environmental stewardship

Growth & Learning Needs

• Intellectual growth and continuous learning

• Creative expression and the ability to make art

• Creating and innovating in their field

• Professional autonomy and independence

Expression & Creativity Needs

• Creative expression and the ability to make art

• Building and running a successful business

Security & Stability Needs

• Financial independence for family security

• Geographic freedom and ability to travel

• Connection to nature and the outdoors

• Spiritual fulfillment and practice

• Physical challenge and adventure

The key isn't which needs you identify—it's recognizing them as legitimate and essential parts of your fulfillment. Quinn initially dismissed her need for creative expression as "impractical" and her desire to travel and connect as the reward for putting in the work she didn't enjoy.  When she finally gave herself permission to honor these needs, everything shifted. She didn't have to abandon her career completely—instead, she reshaped it to serve her true needs rather than letting it overshadow them.

Could she have limited her travel time and found other ways to connect, of course, but when she looked at what was possible, she found a way to take a HUGE step into alignment with her needs.  In your late 20s that might be easier than later in life, but there are always ways to make room for what's most important to you.

Understanding YOUR True Needs

Before you can align YOUR lives with YOUR true needs, you need to dig deeper than surface-level wants. Here's how to start:

The Future Self Test: Ask yourself: "In 5 years, what would I regret not pursuing?" Your answer often reveals your true needs, not just your current wants.

The Energy Check: Notice what activities make you lose track of time, leave you feeling energized rather than drained, and give you a sense of purpose beyond immediate satisfaction.

The Sacrifice Question: Here's where it gets real: What would you be willing to give up to achieve something? Your true needs are the things you'd rearrange your entire life to accommodate.

Your Body Knows: Pay attention to how your body responds when thinking about different goals. Do you feel tension or expansion? Does the idea bring peace or anxiety? Are you excited or just trying to meet expectations?

Making Space for What Truly Matters to YOU

Now comes the exciting part—aligning your life with your true needs. But here's where many of us get stuck: we keep our wants and needs tangled together, making it impossible to prioritize what truly matters. Start by asking yourself:

• What do I think I should want?

• What do others expect me to want?

• What do I truly need to feel fulfilled?

Remember: Your needs might change throughout different life stages (mine certainly did!), but they're usually rooted in your core values. Today, my top needs look a little different:

• My daughter - meaningful connection and guiding her

• Maintaining a comfortable, secure home.

• Staying fit for well-being, not competition.

I no longer need to explore having a family, I have one!  Feeling secure in my environment will always be deep rooted in me, and fitness has moved from a want to a need, but in a different way. You can see how they are still rooted in similar ideas and relate back to my core values.

The Magic of Living True to Your Needs

As you start aligning your life with your true needs rather than your wants, you might notice something magical happening. You might:

• Make decisions with more confidence.

• Feel more authentic in your choices.

• Find it easier to say no to things that don't align.

• Experience deeper fulfillment in your daily life.

You deserve to have a fulfilling life connected with your needs and core values. Wants are fulling, but needs are fulfilling!

Your Next Step: Discover Your True Needs

Take some time this week to sit with these questions. What do you truly need versus what do you think you should want? Remember, there's no wrong answer—only your truth. What will you NOT regret going after.

If you're finding it challenging to sorting out your wants and needs or would like help creating a strategy to honor YOUR true needs, let's connect. Together, we can uncover what truly matters to YOU and create a path to make it happen. YOU deserve a life aligned with your needs and core values, not just a collection of society's "shoulds” and wants that hold you back from feeling most yourself.

Celebrating your every win,

Adrienne - Founder, Meaningful Achievements

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